On Treating Victims With Respect

This is less of a blog and more of an article, but what the hell…

In recent days, we’ve seen US Presidential candidate Donald Trump hit by multiple allegations of sexual assault against women. It started with the release of video recording of crude comments made a decade ago in conversation with TV presenter Billy Bush, and now we’re seeing more and more women come forward to accuse Trump of assault or inappropriate behaviour.

The most disappointing thing is that whatever happens to Trump, this sort of inappropriate behaviour towards women will continue to happen and others will seek to defend it. The same thing happened when the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard split also recently hit the headlines.

I find it hard to believe that the same old arguments are continuing to crop up in relation to domestic violence. We just don’t seem to be getting any closer to eradicating the problem or treating victims with respect. Every day in my current employment I see the incredibly destructive and corrosive effect of domestic violence on individuals and families as a whole. So why are we still failing victims?

First of all, let’s be clear that neither Trump nor Depp have been found guilty in a court of law, and we shouldn’t judge them until they are. Furthermore, no-one knows the truth of the matter except the alleged victims and the accused (although there is compelling third-party witness evidence to support Heard’s claims that Depp physically assaulted her on least one occasion, and of course there is the recording of Trump). It’s true that a very small percentage of such accusations are false, and it may be the case that Depp is innocent. The cornerstone of any decent legal system is the principle that the accused is innocent until proven guilty, and every accused person has the right to a fair and robust trial. However – and this is the key point – that does not mean that there is a right to treat victims as liars.

And yet we have people like Nigel Farrage  attempting to explain away Trump’s behaviour as mere “locker room” banter. Oh, please. Whether Trump knew he was being recorded or not, there is no excuse for such comments: no right-minded person – male or female – would talk about grabbing a woman “by the pussy”. And consider fellow actor Paul Bettany tweeting the following about Depp: “He’s the sweetest, kindest, gentlest man that I’ve ever known. Just saying.” Sorry Paul, but the fact that a person was sweet, kind and gentle to you on a film set – maybe even socially – does not mean that he or she is incapable of domestic violence. It doesn’t work like that. You see, men and women are capable of being both nice and violent: the two are not mutually exclusive. I have nothing against Paul Bettany, but he is a public personality and as such his views are both far-reaching and potentially influential. He has 148,000 followers on Twitter, and so he has a responsibility to think before he tweets.

Publicly undermining an accuser has the effect of minimising the alleged violence. Time and time again we see accusers treated with absolutely no regard for their feelings. Just put yourself in the shoes of a domestic violence or sexual assault victim. Imagine how difficult it is to be subjected to such scrutiny – from the police, from legal professionals, from family and friends – and then, to top it all off, you also see people rushing to support your alleged abuser. This is why victims often don’t come forward: it’s just too much.

In this day and age we should not still be having the same outdated arguments regarding domestic violence and sexual assault. We need to stop making excuses and start treating victims with more respect.